In my head theres only you now...

Now i am finally seeing why i was the one worth leaving.

Wed, 24 Aug 2005 04:13:02 GMT

Smeared black ink... your palms are sweaty
And I'm barely listening to last demands
I'm staring at the asphalt wondering what's buried underneath
Where I am
Where I am

I'll wear my badge... a vinyl sticker with big block letters adherent to my chest
That tells your new friends I am a visitor here...
I am not permanent
And the only thing keeping me dry is
Where I am
Where I am
Where I am

You seem so out of context in this gaudy apartment complex
A stranger with your door key explaining that I am just visiting
And I am finally seeing
Why I was the one worth leaving
Why I was the one worth leaving

D.C. sleeps alone tonight

Where I am
Where I am
Where I am

You seem so so out of context in this gaudy apartment complex
A stranger with your door key explaining that I am just visiting
And I am finally seing
Why I was the one worth leaving
Why I was the one worth leaving

Where I am
Where I am
Where I am

The district sleeps alone tonight after the bars turn out their lights
And send the autos swerving into the loneliest evening
And I am finally seeing
Why I was the one worth leaving
Why I was the one worth leaving
Why I was the one worth leaving
Why I was the one worth leaving

the HATES

Wed, 10 Aug 2005 15:35:23 GMT

i hate when your supposedly good friends use you. that seems to be happening alot now. they say they want to do all this shyt with you and then when it comes time to do it, where are they?

i hate when people say things just so you wont understand them.

i hate when people only call you when their bored

i hate feeling like im the only person who understands what im going through.

i hate that i have no one to confide in.

i hate feeling sad 95% of the time.

i hate when people treat other people differently, cuz they dont have a job.

i hate how im constantly busting my ass, and for what?

i hate when people jip me out of shyt, but give more to SOMEBODY else.

i hate that its my only day off, and where are my friends?

I LOVE that school is starting soon, maybe its time for new people..........

High Schools Over..

Sun, 29 May 2005 15:56:31 GMT

so alot has been happening since my last entry. some of which i will not post on internet for just anybody to see. some of its too personal for that. but for my close friends who read this you know what im talking about.

Ive experienced some of the toughest times of my life in the duration of the past few weeks. and it has nothing to do with finishing school. ill just leave it at that.

it hasnt really hit me yet that high school is no more. I keep thinking ill have to wake up tuesday morning at 6 and be like "great another day of school." but its OVER. no more school lunches, no more Horowitz, no more talks with schear, no more mr. babice or mr. gonzalez. or any of the teachers i loved. but im not really upset. Im glad high school is over. its time for me to close that chapter in my life. I know in so many ways im not an adult, but i feel like this is my first step to becoming one. Ive got to do something with myself. I feel bad for a couple of my friends who are just realizing that now. Now they have no idea what they want to do, and they probaly realize that they may have f*cked up. My motto has always been, have a good time, but get your shyt done first, you'll be the only one who regrets it if you dont. thats also something id like the underclassman to know. and its never too late.

so star wars is amazing. such a dark, tragic, and sad story though. i saw it the opening night at 12:01. some of those fanatics were a bit on the crazy side, but it was all good, i enjoyed myself. this one is def. the best in the prequel series. whether or not it surpasses any of the originals i dont know. ive yet to decide on that. ive only seen it 4 times after all.lololol.

i love my job. i work at fashion bug. my coworkers and managers have been really supportive of me, and i appreciate that.

spending the night at the hospital tonite, got my new star wars book ready ;). my cousin alice is coming down on tuesday, im so excited i havent seen here in a good year and a half. i miss her.

well im out. c/o 05!!! and lets just leave it at that.

your just not something i deserve.

Sat, 16 Apr 2005 06:07:55 GMT

sooooo what it issssssssss?

tonite was ehhh.. hung out w/ ash n dez. met up with riely and peeps at mcdonalds. omg there were soooo many guys there! they all came to fight those kids who jumped mark n camel. assholes, served them rite! the fight was raw. in mcdonalds?? crazy kid. hehe ill just leave it at that. after that we went to old stirling. something not so great happened there. then we went to zhi's community, hung out for a while, then i went home im soooo tired.

so i waited in a 2 hour line today for my prom ticket. it was horrendous. made my hair n makeup appointment at this new salon place, its supposed to be real nice. going to aventura tommorow to get my dress!! yay! i also have to get dez's present. her birthday is on monday! we gotta do something crazy for it! friday is GRAD NITE!! yea homies. senior year is coming to an end. tear. im so ready to graduate though.

PROM IS GONNA BE OFF THE CHAIN.MADD HOTEL PARTIES AFTERWARDS. and ali gets to go. thats LOVE!

in my head theres only you now,

Erica

what it is yo

Tue, 22 Mar 2005 06:48:51 GMT

so far spring break has been ehhh...just ehh. i liked winter break better. well at least i got some color. been going to the beach almost everyday with my usuals. u kno who they be. so i dunno, right now im in such an eh mood. like i dont really feel like anything. maybe numb is the word im searching for. tonite i went to las olas with kirk, monica, ash, dez, and ali. met some hotties. going back to the beach tommorow, shocker. im gonna be black byt he time school starts again. so tonite was alright. finally met some new guys.one works at hollister. yippy yippy. i should be hanging out with them rite now, but no i have to have a retarded curfew. hope ali and dez are having mucho fun.

im working too much. ive worked everyday since last thursday and im friekin exhausted.

so i could write a list of things wrong with my life, but that would take entirely to much time, and i dont have nearly enough energy.but ill write a few. im tired of living at home, im tired of high school, im tired of not having a car, im tired of BEING LONELY. im tired of getting shyt for something i did 3 weeks ago, im tired of target. im tired of leading this guy on, its just not gonna happen. im tired of being used by one of my friends, and on top of all that shyt, i feel like im losing my best friend.

theres always something,

erica

Thu, 17 Mar 2005 12:53:30 GMT

SpRiNg BrEaK 05....

First off...

Happy St.Patricks Day!

So what are everyone's plans for spring break? Ill probaly be hanging out with Kirk, Ali, Ash, and Dez. the Usuals..hehe. Kirk and Ali maybe going out of town however, so we'll see.

So I havent gone to school today yet. I dont have an exam for third hour, so their was no point in waking up at 6 if I didnt even have a classroom to go to. Ill prolly leave in about an hour to take my 4th hour exam. Ali and Kirk have the car today..kudos. Well time to make breakfast, sorry i couldnt write a more interesting entry.

mucho gusto. me llamo,

Erica.. lol

Youve got your gun to my head.

Fri, 04 Mar 2005 02:48:45 GMT

ahh just thinking of you is painful. i cant even look YOU in the eye. I dont know how many times i can apologize for the same thing. see i apologize a million times in my head, but the words never come out. and i kno you kno, im sorry. how could someone be so hurtful? i dunno. but your not exactly innocent too. no matter how much time goes by, everytime i see you i'm overwhelmed with emotions. ive never felt that way about anybody before. thank you for that feeling, but youve also caused some of the worst feelings i have ever experienced. youve got a way.

well anyways, here are some inside jokes between MY CREW. i love you.

~look at you over there, just look at you!~hey its kirk~ hubcap rolling off~campy camperton~what kinda life is it-wheeee!!!~youz an assho~f*ck yea man~ bleeping myself out~my hair going up in embers~ was that even a sentence?~that thing have two speeds?~ the robot~ tell him to make 4 lefts...its a circle~ ur mark and im sam~really, where?~ we be stupid~ dangling by my SWEATER!~ gator mobile desiree, run!~ getting thrown in the pool, clothes and phone~ u kno wut he did, he pissed his pants~ how does that make me feel??? ....mad!~ in one corner is kirk morton~ i feel like im getting masages!

well im outtie,

only wishful thinking,

Erica

Snitches always get it back.

Wed, 23 Feb 2005 23:02:31 GMT

YOU crack me up. you swear like i dont know it was you who told him my name. lol. the funny part is, i see you lie to my face, and it makes me want to laugh, cuz your not as good at it as u think you are. ive caught u in so many lies, and most of them i just let go and let you think you won. but dont worry i have something in store for you. revenge is sweet. you were so silly to think id let it go. :).

and on another note:

you def. kno who u r:

UCF!!!!

Fri, 11 Feb 2005 11:14:20 GMT

Congratulations! You have been offered admission to UCF for the Fall 2005 term. Please note that a $200 admission enrollment deposit is required.

School time

Fri, 04 Feb 2005 15:25:11 GMT

Hey y'all, how ya doin? NMH extremly bored in 2nd period. Were in the media center and there is nothing else to do besides update this thing. So heres my weekend plans, tonite, goin to the fair w/ ali, ash, dez, and kirk. im supposed to invite frederico and his friend victor, but i dunno if thats gonna happen. well see after lunch. tommorow, i have my tour of FIU. im kinda looking forward to it. good stuff. then tommorow night, is Z's party. It was his birthday on Monday or Tuesday or something. so yea, gotta get him a gift. i hope its as fun as his last party was. God, then work sunday. I work saturday and sunday, kill me now. por favor. My 18th bday is on March 9th. what are you all getting me? I wonder if Z will let me have a party at his house. i hope so. i think if his parents arent home he wont care. but i def. want to eat at cheesecake factory w/ my parents. my dad's bday is coming up to. gotta get him a gift. guess who gets paid today? yup thats right bitches, me. so apparently everyone is skipping today except for me, ash, ali, kirk, ajo, and chris. that sux. this stalker kid int he media center is really starting to freak me out. everywhere i turn he is there. kirk kno's wat im talking about. so the soccer team lost yesterday, awww. damn cypress! so 26 mins left in class. i just did the funniest thing. lol only stephanie gets it. im so friekin hungry. i need my lunch money. and of course i dont have it. what goes around, comes around, Erica <3

id tear my heart open just to feel

Thu, 27 Jan 2005 01:45:38 GMT

havent updated in a while. whats up guys? n2mh. im extremly bored on this fabolous wednesday evening. nothing too interesting has been going on in my life. quite frankly its been quite boring. so ive been thinking, senior year is really gonna be expensive. between senior dinner, prom, grad night, and all the other fun festivities, im gonna be broke. so i should start saving my money now. especially if im supposed to come up with a down payment for a car by graduation. life is so stressful. so im supposed to hear from FSU by FEB. 1. wish me luck. i dont know if they processed my transcript by january 1st so it mite be by march 1. wouldnt it be a nice birthday gift, to get accepted to FSU? maybe not, its not like i plan on going there. I think im seriously gonna go to FIU. its supposed to have a really good program for hospitality management. plus its not like i have money to go away to school, id have to buy my own food, and the loan from FAFSA isnt going to cover that much, so i think im just going to save money then go away. who knows in 2 years i mite go out of state. another waste of money. I wish bright futures wasnt just for florida. o yea congratulate me now, im only getting a 75% scholoraship. couldnt get that 1270 SAT for the 100%. o well im content.

so im looking for a date for senior dinner. actually we all are. me and ash that is. dez aleady has hers. lol HARDER HARDER. i almost pee'd my pants today at lunch dez. that was so great. on that note dez, be my best friend. lol i love shelby and ali. hey seniors- june 1st baby. kiss our class goodbye. exciting.

it was lust at first sight,

Erica

best friend means u get u wut u deserve.

Mon, 17 Jan 2005 17:49:44 GMT

lol so aware of wut your doing.

Senioritis is a Killa

Fri, 14 Jan 2005 14:29:46 GMT

so here i am, at home, on friday at 9:21 a.m. I guess my alarm went off this morning, and i chose to turn it off. smart. i dont even remember doing that. but anyways, ali calls me at lik 7:15, and instead of answering my phone with the typical hello, i say "o shyt." i plan on going to school, right after second period ends,lol, i forgot to do my speech for debate so id rather not show up empty handed. sorry lauren and tammy, i doubt you'll get points off! so my senioritis is really kicking in, i skipped 4th yesterday. but its okay, i chilled w/ an administrator for a while so its allll goood.

so guess who got accepted to FIU? yup, thats right, me bitches. i think i mite go there for two years, then transfer to UCF. i want to save money before i leave home, and as of right now, ive saved none. shame on me. :(. I think UCF will be the best place to get my bachelors degree, especially since they have a nice program for what i think i want to do. Hospitality Management. but im still undecided.

so i was supposed to go to the keys this weekend. but doesnt look like thats happening. booo whore. yay for no school on monday. i just thought i should add something for desiree---SHAWNZIE. lol. one last thing for all my good friends out there= u kno who u be= i want to take a senior trip? im thinking hawaii, or europe? ashley did u still want to go to europe? and o yea, are we still on for cancun during spring break. holla at yo girl. lol

o yea mi schedule, if anyone was wondering,

AP literature
debate I
Executive intern ADV
Drama

yea mostly b.s i kno.

te amo,

Erica

i'm thinking its a sign

Tue, 11 Jan 2005 03:54:39 GMT

this weekend was fun.

friday: party at z's. craZy fight. cool sleepover with even cooler peeps. i <3 my friends.

saturday: last night of winter break. you know i had to go out w/ a bang. first we went to the private party that riely told us about,then we headed over to edwin's. lost my wallet. blamed some people, need to apologize, maybe tommorow. i feel bad. it was desiree's fault though. she was the first person i called, i asked her to look in the car, and she said it wasnt there, so i freaked.

sunday: work, and that was it.

monday: first day of school. still have ap english. my fav. haha yea right. debate is boring. 3rd is gonna be okay, im executive interning. and drama should be the shyt.

if u havent noticed, i have just the right touch to make people feel like assholes. one characteristic i love about myself.

how was your first day?

you wanna wage war, i swear youll never win.

ghetto gospel

Wed, 05 Jan 2005 19:44:38 GMT

this past weekend was great.

friday: New years eve, party at dez's. yay to getting drunk and 2005. i hope everyone had a good new years. after dez's party finished me, dez, ash, ali, and kirk headed over to z's house. jorge drove us cuz all the licensed drivers were to shyt faced to drive, me being one of them. not too much happened at z's. from wut i remember, the only thing i remember was passing out on z's stairs. and then leaving. once we got back to dez's house we had to clean up the mess that riely and his pack of wolves left behind. the conclusion that me and dez have come to is, we are never throwing a party, at least at one of our houses again, we will just go to parties.hehe.

saturday: worked at 11. got off early at 4. chilled at my house for a while, cuz ali, dez, and ash went to the mall. they picked me up around 10. from there we headed over to z's house. where we drank, and ash got smashed. she was hilarious. i had to drive jason and ali home in ash's car. jason lived in bfe so ali was late and got in trouble. aw. once i got back, alot of people had left. so me, camel, ash, and dez headed over to steak and shake, were we got a shyt load of food for $5. thanks camel. it was getting late and i had work at 9 so around 3 me, dez and ash headed back to dez's and passed out.

sunday: worked till 3. hung out w/ ali, kirk, and dez. we met up w/ camel, ajo, chris,mouse, this chick kristin, and some ghetto kid. i think we went to z's again but we had to be back at 11:30 cuz ali was grounded so nothing too spectacular happened.

yesterday i was supposed to do this scavenger hunt(not the meat squad, alex and tressa's) thingy w/ camel, ajo, ali, me, and dez. but ajo was still grounded from his car, and camel had to work, so camel and ajo both couldnt be in our group. although camel did take us to johnias house, and he got to see someone :). lol. anyways me, dez, and ali got stuck with these too boring kids who didnt want to do anything, so we ended up doing almost everything. we got in 2nd out of 3 groups. o well.

so friday night were supposed to go to hooters, in celebration of ajo getting those wires out of his mouth. yay. lol. i get payed on thursday, double yay.

screwing 14 yr olds=gross

My scars remind me that the past is real

Mon, 03 Jan 2005 05:11:38 GMT

not in a good mood. so i guess i know what your all saying, oo shocking. lol. i dont view myself as a pessimistic person. but i guess i only write in this thing when im upset. and at this point, i dunno what im upset about. if any of u have a clue, write me back. when i hung out with corey was i like this?

no signature tonite, not enough energy.

its good i dont take anything too personal.

Sun, 02 Jan 2005 01:20:48 GMT

im in one of those moods again. ah, i hate this.

i feel like everything i do is a mistake.

"i wish i had never met you, that way i didnt have to walk around with the knowledge that there was someone like you out there."

Happy new Years

never really right,

eRica

Mon, 27 Dec 2004 06:25:54 GMT

my weekend:

friday

Christmas Eve, watched Christmas movies for most of the day, went to church at Midnight, came home ate milk and cookies, then opened presents. I love mine..

Saturday: Chrstmas! Ate dinner/lunch early like at 1, went to kirk's cousins house. Chilled w/ Kirk and Ali till Dez came, which mite i say was lest best friend. :). Then Camel and Ajo came, and we drove around and raced. We had nothing to do, so they dropped us off and raced or something. after that me, ali, kirk, nikki, dez, and some other members of his family got crunk..ill just leave it at that.

Sunday: worked from 9 am-5:30. im tired. then i came home showered and got ready to go see a movie with ash and kirk. that didnt happen we ended up at paco's pool, and did something, then left to this kid Z's party. Aparently i missed the good stuff, a huge fight, and the alcohol. had a talk with marlon, which didnt go quite as i hoped. :(. well now, im tired and im gonna go to sleep.

after me there shall be no more,

Erica <3

Jingle Bell Rock N's

Fri, 24 Dec 2004 20:57:28 GMT

The Best Way to spread Christmas Cheer is singing loud, for All to hear.

I love this time of year. Dont you? Comment and tell me what your doing for Christmas Eve/ Christmas. All comments welcome. I heart you guys. A list of people I love and dont you dare forget:

Mom, Dad, Al, Alice, Grandpa Joe, Aunt Rosemary, Nanny, Poppy, Michael, Uncle Scott, Aunt Elizabeth, Desiree, Kirk, Ashley, Amanda, Pam, Ali, Nicki, Barbara, Aunt Glenny(my other family hehe), Aunt Paola, Troy, Corey, Chase, Bruiser, Jimmy, Kirk's Grandma, Uncle A, and everyone else in Kirk's family, Maria, Natasha, Paco, Camel, Mouse, Meghan, Zahra, Saraa, Chelsie, Christina(Ticonderoga), Aaron(all Aaron's I know), Rasiel, Diego, Jessica, Natalie, Christina, Victor, Cleo, Britni, Brook, Christie, Evan, Gus, Jerrica, Sol, Marlon(yup i heart you too), Marc( all marc's i know), Nihana, Chadley, and if I forgot you, I am sorry. I love you too.

My plans- Church tonite at midnight, come home open gifts, eat cookies, watch a couple of my favorite holiday Christmas movies, A Christmas Story being one of the them(fragile hahaha), and A muppet's christmas carol, maybe love actually as well.

A Merry Christmas to All, and to All a Goodnight,

Erica

heres to the times.

Sun, 19 Dec 2004 23:47:22 GMT

the weekend=

friday= work till nine, then to regal to see "a series of unfortunate events"= loved mucho.

saturday= did a whole bunch of shyt for college. finished my ap for FIU, and almost finished FSU and UCF, only one essay left, dammit man. I sent all my SAT's scores in though. so tommorow im gonna go to guidance and have my transcripts sent. wish me luck amigos. then i went to work at 5 and got off at nine. came home and changed and waited for ash to come pick me up. after she came and got me we picked up Paco and headed over to Gian Carlo's party. It was his 18th birthday- happy bday Gian Carlo! poor ajo got soo shytfaced. and camel. well everyone was pretty drunk, but no not me. i mean i drank a tiny bit. but i just wasnt in the mood. poor dez and kirk, and ali didnt get to go. hope the show was fun! after the party i slept over ash's. where of course, shocked face, she vented about riely.

sunday- i worked 9-3 and now i should be working on my economics essay and be finishing up my schear nonsense. but instead i choose to write in this thing. i have so much crap to do tonite, i have to wrap all my gifts, for the "gift exchange" which will take place during 3rd hour. and my BAMF exchange is on tuesday. love you girls. :). its gonna be cold tonite. yup.

to me, you are perfect,
Erica(with a U)

ill do my best to comply.

Sat, 18 Dec 2004 05:50:59 GMT

"can someone please call a surgeon?
That can crack my ribs and repair this broken heart
that youre deserting for better company?
I cant accept that its over.
And I will block the door.
Like a goalie tending the net
In the 3rd quarter of a tied game rivalry."

Shopping with Pam was fun. I miss her. :)

Tonight was fun, "A series of unfortunate events." I love it. And I love Ash. and Dez.

Tommorow night im not sure what ill be doing. Partay? i want ash to go with me..plzz.. ashy kins. lol. im working till nine so yea.

my other "best friends" will be watching a boat show. have fun.

there is always something,

Erica

let the applications begin.

Fri, 10 Dec 2004 04:45:28 GMT

so im starting to apply. i know, i know why so late..i dunno. lol. well i didnt apply to UF yet, because im never going to. i have no desire to go there, and for all of you that go there, just because everyone else is, i feel sorry for you, go where YOU want to go, not where "everyone" else is. but for all of you who are getting acceptance/rejections tommorow- i wish you the best of luck. <3. so heres where im applying- UCF-FSU-FGCU-FIU. Wish me luck. have any of you got any letters of acceptance? Tommorow, im applying for bright futures.

tommorow i have to help set up the gym for the basketball game for community service hours. ehh. not really in the mood. i wonder how they did tonite?

thank u ana for postal service. thank you brian d for green day. much apprecation yo.

so tommorow im gonna do it- and if it hurts SOMEONE in the process, again, i apologize in advance. but its senior year and im tired of being stuck on something, i just want to have fun. sorry if this confuses some of you- there is logic behind my words.

walter mitty today during third was a blast. and i heard about the cell block tango. and contrare to what everyone else thinks- i say more power to them. i heard they were awesome, and got a 100, thats all that matters- good work ladies, good work. so everyone needs to just back of their shyt, because i bet half you that are hating on them would have done it too. thats all i have to say about that.

stop staring heres your cue, im f*cking over you,
Erica

Mon, 15 Nov 2004 22:45:06 GMT

THERE
WILL
BE
NO
WHITE
FLAG
ABOVE
MY
DOOR.

Mon, 11 Oct 2004 01:20:29 GMT

Yeah dawg.

Halloween Horror Nights!

Tue, 05 Oct 2004 01:27:57 GMT

So guess who maybe be going to Halloween Horror Nights. yes you guessed right bitches, its me. lol. Me, and Dez may go with that guy ive been writing about. the one that goes to UCF. well anyways he offered to pay for my ticket,so yea i think im gonna go. My brother has a place up there, so maybe he'll let me and Dez stay with him for a couple of nights- Plz Al, i love you!! the only problem is how were gonna get up there. i kno a few kids going but i dont feel comfortable asking any of them for a ride. Francisco- wow no. and andrew r. told me to ask Jason for a ride, but i dont kno Jason that well, so im not gonna ask. but yea as soon as i can find a ride the sooner i get set an official date. thats if my bro lets me stay with him. which id be forever grateful for. i dont get to see this boy very often, so yea, im a lil excited about seeing him, and me n dez are just too much fun together. she'll understand the magic. lol inside joke. but yea holla at a playa if your going up to Orlando anytime soon- u'll be my bestest friend, besides desiree.

tap on my window, knock on my door.